When it comes to music I usually prefer Love songs and when it comes to books I love to read all about romance, the late night dinners and the doorstep good night kisses... I guess most of us , just like me, love to live in a world of fantasy where things are so loving, everything so right and good.. Talking about love, I just remembered a conversation I had with a friend of mine. She was surprised or rather shocked to know that even in reality most of the American citizens are not virgins when they get married. Forget about the US, right now even in our own Bharath, with the thriving multi national culture, it'll be considered too much of an expectation for any man to ask for a virgin wife. I think we the late 20-30 group of women still doesn't know or rather have not widened our thoughts to include the differences between love, commitment, adjustment and the real love life. When for me, all these are different things, this friend of mine was having a hard time understanding the explanations I gave for the differences.
Marriage... does this word mean that we can never fall in love again?? I certainly don't think so.. As you grow old.. your preferences change.. your interest grow up along with you and in case your spouse is not able to meet or stand side by side along with them, there's every chance that you can fall in love again with some one who does that. My mom might think that this is infidelity, but I would say this is being practical. You just have one life to live with and so many of your dreams to be fulfilled. No one has the right to kill those, how much ever close the person is to you and at one point if its required that you need to move forward alone or holding a different pair of hands, its completely natural. After all, the life.. your life.. your dreams.. atleast you are worth it and have every right to live them.
Then where do you draw the line for good and bad, that's the question that came next against my thoughts. The line comes where you get involved with emotions like selfishness, untruthfulness, lust etc. I feel that if the reason for holding onto a different hand is coz you are completely in LOVE... the eternal and the most divine feeling, then its completely fine and obviously a great thing to do. But being the human kind as we are, we tend to decide this situation considering the amount of bank balances, the securities and the position title of the other half. This is where it becomes wrong and end of it all it spoils the purity of the relationship - MARRIAGE.. the blessing which God bestowed on us from the time he created this thing called the earth, the planets -- the whole creation in itself; so that never will there be a human who is a loner; who's deprived of the feeling of Love -- the feeling that makes you one with this whole creation in itself.
India... the country that always holds upto its family bondage, the country which is always looked upon for its culture, the country where girls are married to those unknown men chosen by the elders of the family tree, the country where divorce rates are currently on a very high end. I guess we have moved up in the trends, especially when it comes to relationships. Its true that every divorced individual is still considered as an outcast and a dare-devil, even in the high society group. But I would say what is the point in continuing a relationship when there is no love in it. All the spiritual leaders of today would say that setting right your close relationships is the only solution to all the physical and spiritual problems in your life; the close relationships with your parents, siblings, spouse and children. I also share the same belief that unless these close relationships are filled with love no person can be completely happy or successful in Life. This is the rule of nature; the rule of Life itself... But this rule doesn't tie us for life to any relationship and that is exactly where people are unable to distinguish, i guess.
The line is drawn in this rule also just like every other aspect of life. What the spiritual teachers are trying to tell is that we should develop the quality of love within ourselves.. and keep that love alive in and all around us. But that doesn't mean that we have to try and stick on to an already dead relationship, trying to convince ourselves that its still completely alive. Believe me, all the others around you are completely sure that you are just wasting your time and there's nothing that you are going to gain from this futile effort.
End of it all, as far as I am concerned LOVE is the only emotion that a human can feel to make her completely free and secured in this lifetime... the only emotion that can bring in most of the bliss in this small life... the emotion that make you fly out there in the limitless sky and swim out in the deepest of the oceans.....
I want to love... and to start with, I want to love myself.....!!!!!!
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