Change & the tinge of Pain

Finally, after almost 2 years of a stay, am moving out to a new PG accommodation next month. Something that never happened in the past years whenever I moved out from one place to another is happening right now – a tinge of striking pain inside the heart at the thought of moving out from this place, which was my abode for sometime now.

The initial days when I came in here, the feeling was of happiness and enjoyment as it was all about a new job, new people and a new place of my own wherein I can endure into all those thoughts and deeds that’s connected with me alone. But it dint take long for the happy days to end and move up into frustrations of missing home and family and loved ones. And soon after that the frustration heightened into depression and took much lesser time for me to end up with a sad heart and boiling brains. In the mean time, this friend L joined me and got wedged at the listening end of all my sad tales, trying to work out possible solutions to the boiling issues of my life.

Right now when all the boiling kettles cooled down, I am going ahead with another change in life – moving out to a new place for stay. Not a big deal as such for I guess this is almost my 4th PG stay in the past 3 years.

But still, when all decided I unlocked the door yesterday, the knowledge that its only for a few more days that I can sweep into the alms of this known 4 walls of my room kind of made me feel home sick or rather room sick. Somehow this time am scared to take in this change, though it was much awaited since past few months.

I guess now I know why people are afraid of death. It’s like leaving a place that’s so very familiar to you - your body; to move out into that eternity that is completely unknown.

I guess its directly proportional – As Age Increases, familiarity increases and henceforth Fear of Change/Death Increases!