For the First time in a Long time..

For the first time in a Long time.. (dialogue from the movie 'Shall We Dance')

--> It felt nice to spend time at home without having to think of rushing back the next day to work place.

--> It felt nice to spend sometime with relatives, to see those niece and nephew of mine all grown up.

--> It felt nice to cook a simple meal and have a fine, complete dinner all together

And with all these nice feelings, I want to quote a few lines that came across in the same movie mentioned above.

"Why do people get married?

Cos, there are so many people out there in this world that nothing you do matters to anyone else. But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You are promising your partner that "Your life will not go unnoticed, coz I will notice it and I, shall be the Witness for your Life"
Very romantic line, of course. And I guess, that's what every person is looking out for - for that one person, who'll hold your hands and make you walk through your path, in this lifetime.

I had been to see my aunt who's affected by Cancer, yesterday and one thing that she mentioned to all of us or rather, to all the people who went to meet her was that, at this stage when she's looking back, she specifically wants to thank her parents and my uncle's parents, as, if not for them, she wouldn't have got my uncle in her life. At this juncture of her life, she was very proud of her partner . It really moistened our eyes and heart to listen to her talking lovingly about her husband; giving him the honor of being almost equivalent to the God himself. And this made me remember the words of my PG Aunt in B'lore.

"Have you seen those old couples holding hands and walking around? That's the most beautiful thing that can happen in anyone's life - to still be able to hold hands with your partner at the age of 60+ . Cos, there would be so much that you have gone through by then in life, that, if you are still able to hold on to each other, then that's real love. That's where Love actually begins, in its true sense."

As a new year is beginning, I want to hold hands with all of my people around. I want to keep that love around all so lively, that there's no more room for any kind of pain.

And thus I wish.... for the first time in a very long long time..... :-)

It still isn't thaaat bad

"Believing in our hearts that, who we are is enough, is the key to a more satisfying and balanced life."

This would count to one of those best practices for life and right now, when am feeling all down and grey since all are going back home to their "beloved ones" (this is the important part.. not that they are going back home) for this vacation time, this quote comes to me with its consoling arms around. The one good thing about quotes is that you can interpret them in any way You feel comfortable with and we just need not bother what the first impression on it was all about..

So right now.. Sandya is gonna go ahead and put it into her brains that its all fine and everything is absolutely fine.. whatever and however it is. Just that she needs to keep smiling and give one big huge hug on her own.. hehehe.. :D ;-)

Pour out.. its still humane!

"Someone to tell it to, is one of the fundamental needs of human beings. "

Surely we all have this intense need to talk it out to someone and until then, somehow it all shows up on our face and all around us. It could be a happy, blissful thing that happened or a saddening, upsetting incident. But we have to talk it out and then a happy event suddenly multiplies the joyful feeling and a saddening incident looks far less grim. Its natural and a very ordinary feeling! Not only that, but most of the times, we also end up finding out answers to some of our own questions when we talk it out. We end up getting a better view of the situation which lightens up the whole event.

It must surely take a lot to do the listening part; I guess, it calls for a lot of patience and a less flow of own thoughts interfering. Ofcourse, that should be one reason we all admire those few listeners in our individual lives, as we are aware of the effort that goes behind it.

A big.. huge.. hands up for those few listeners of my life! :-)

Christmas Time...

Its Christmas time ... the end of a whole round of an year paving way to another 365 days of life and living!!

This year, this time, has been completely different from all those days of this season that I have had before. We went up to my friend's place to decorate the Christmas Tree and what more..? there were gifts for all of us from the Santa Claus (though it was our sweet, gr8 Menna ... the Santa, who put it all there to surprise us)

(Christmas tree with the gifts from Santa - Menna)

tat's all of us :-)

It was beautiful to see her doing it all with so much of enthusiasm and fun. Gifts for all her friends and family, sending out those Christmas cards to all her dear ones (as of now, living in different parts of the world!!!) She even baked 14 cakes so that she can send them to all her friends out there who loves her delicacies.

(Menna's cake all set for delivery)

And while am writing this blog, I happened to get this forward mail where it tells about
"People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
Then people come into your life for a SEASON. Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! "

And I guess, this friend of ours is gonna last for a Season, to teach us to connect back to all those values and traditions of Celebrations and Festivals, in life. Looking at her we are learning once again to celebrate those small things in life, in a big way adding up to the memories of a lifetime.

(And that's her.. forever.. lovingly ours... Menna)

Congratulations on my 50th Blog - to ME, from Me :-)

This is supposed to be my 50th blog - a milestone to remember. As I told once, I have this one wish to write a book sometime in my life and may be this is the 1st stepping stone in that process. I would surely not underrate this writing of about 30-35 posts, on my own and so kudos!!! to myself for that :-)

(at times, once in a while, its okie to praise yourself and to feel gr8 about something you did... that wouldnt count to boasting.. isn't it... hehehe)

They say that Experiences is what makes a Person Perfect and my Guru used to tell me that, only a person who's undergone the suffering can and only will be able to relate to another man's pain. He used to tell that its the experiences in your life that teaches you about the vulnerability of a lifetime and the peace of eternity. As for me, my Dreams still remain the same, as it was 5 years back, though, the path I knew once so clearly is no more certain. But the human in me still continue to dream, dream of that one day when life is blissful and love is the only known feeling, for me and all others around.

Many of them might not agree much with me but still, I would always stand upto say that Women is a very powerful creation of God. I beleive that women do have the capacity to design and live a life that they want to, and not only the earthly beings, even the heavenly ones, cannot pose an obstacle for this. I dont know how many of us beleive, feel or rather, atleast know that we, women, are the abode of all love, spirituality and knowledge. May be because people tend to mistake women's patience as her fragility, her strength and fearlessness as self-indulgence or immorality, her knowledge and power as stubborness. I wouldn't say women never make mistakes, but what makes them a better being is the learning that happens naturally for every one of them, after those experiences. They evolve from their mistakes thereby gaining in more strength and vision on life. After all is that not the purpose for living a lifetime? To evolve as greater human beings so that once we leave this mortal body its easier to merge in with that eternal one. (Many of you might not agree with me. Please note that this is MY personal opinion and no offense to anyone :) )

During this short span, I have come across a variety of people and among them the ones I keenly observe is another women, obviously. There were girls (yes.. girls!!) who managed to understand the higher truths at a very earlier stage of their lives. They, even today, somehow manage to keep their connecting links alive, gaining more knowledge, patience and walking their way to that eternal love. The same time there have been a few of those who never knew what it was all about and they survived on the crumbs and morsels left behind. They never managed to have anything on their own, not even a thought and at those times I did try my best to empathise with these alike. But again, as my Guru would comfirm, it was only when I walked that path once did I realise the amount of the pain in which they actually lived in. And then, I wrote in stoned letters inside my heart "Life's experiences are it's best teachers"

Again, there were those few who left their flowery trails when crossed path with mine. Those are the times when you learn, you try to imitate and implement their philosophies in your own life and then take that one step ahead in the forward go. Still were some of those women/girls who just passed by, for I beleive that there might not have been any connectiing destiny with me rather than a casual meeting.

They say that for a women, she's taken care of by her father in her childhood, by her husband in her adolescence and her son in old age. Many people have interpreted this message to tell that women needs to be supported all her life. But through my eyes, when I look at this message, I feel that they just intended to convey that for a Women, she inherits her father's legacy in her childhood, her husband's heritage in adolescence and in her old age she passes on the combined inheritance to her sons. Who else is better capable to perform this task of passing on the culture and traditions to another generation??

I am not sure how many of you will come across this posting of mine. But whoever you are, the only message I want to convey is dont ever underestimate the women of your life. She's been born with Spirituality, is capable of actually Living a Thought and can Pass this power onto the Generations coming forth. "Respect Women and your Sufferings shall End" is the great saying. Practice it so that there will be those seeds of heaven sown on earth too...

If you are a guy --> * Share your dreams with your mother or wife for they have the ability to turn these Dreams into Reality.

If you are a girl --> * Wake up.. Get connected.. HE shared his powers with you, for You were the chosen one for HIS mission.

My preference - Answers!

-- Inspiration quote for the day and it did make me pause and think

"A major stimulant to creative thinking is focused questions. There is something about a well-worded question that often penetrates to the heart of the matter and triggers new ideas and insights."

Certain questions really need to be well-worded for getting the answers, else there's this big chance that they get evaded by the listener.

Don't you agree to this? Have you not had such a situation when your questions remained unanswered, just because the other side completely ignored it and dint bother to find the importance you felt beneath it? I have had many.. Some are beautiful (for it illumine the love and concern beneath) and some are irritating (for I hate it when I don't get answers on those questions :O ) and some just give a blank feeling (sorry, but I don't care about your say on that, whatever it is and the q was just out of courtesy)

Sometimes... Planning's the Last thing I wanna do!

Last night when the phone beeped with a message, it was only to reiterate that our plans have failed, finally. After trying out a variety of unsuccessful ways for getting this gift for one of our friend's b'day, I resorted to my husband and requested to send it through one of his friends who's travelling this side. And guess what, the message was to tell that this friend also couldn't manage to get this gr8 gift which we so badly wanted to gift with :-(

It must be the Taurean traits that makes me depressed when Plans go wrong. Planning, without that there is not another step that I take and many a times it does irritate the people around me as I sometimes end up doing it in a very extensive way :D

But I just cannot help it and I always need a complete full proof plan along with a back up plan, if in case the first doesn't work out (sorry but without that I just cant get sleep)

And last night was one of those sleepless nights .. as one major plan flopped out even though all of us tried so hard. But thanks to "S" for he did have this another great idea for the b'day surprise!

Right now there are only 2 things in my mind.

1. the major one - I want to go right back into sleep, now!!!

2. I hope we Surprise this friend on his b'day

(Sad thing is both the action items are pending since, right now, am in office and supposed to spend the next 9 hours not sleeping, but working. And we have a 34 hour wait for the b'day)

"Fruity Buddy"

Protiens.. Vitamins.. Minerals... Carbohydrates.. Fat... !!!!!

If not for my friend, I would never have known the difference between all these things for all that I learned in the Science text books is long forgotten. But again, I would rather say I was forced to re-learn all this cos this "L" is a Diet Freak (oops .. sorry.. but yeah You are!!!)

During weekends she starts off for a walk and 'lol'... she gets back with apples, oranges, grapes etc.. etc.. the list goes on. And what more?? Every morning when am busy getting ready to office, she'll be happily sitting with her apples and grapes, enjoying them. All that is fine and I have no issues with her love for fruits. The tragic part is when she forces me to eat them. Imagine... !!! Apples and oranges and grapes.. Early in the morning... Oooh!!!!

Okie, I know its very healthy but sorry I am just not that type. I would rather prefer a creamy chocolatty pastry, but not apples and grapes as first thing in the morning.

But again, she leaves me no other choice and so I am forced to go on a healthy way, for now :-(

Handsome doctors, please forgive me.. Its not me. My buddy is just not leaving me a choice!

{** 3 more and I'll make it to 50 blogs.. countdown begins!!!}

"That was just a TOT"

As you can see I have changed my blog spot background and all the fonts and colors. :-D

And then there was this one more thing that I had to change. I come to the Edit Layout page and poofff...!!! (scratching my brains...) Just can't remember what I wanted to do... why did I come here?? What did I think about, just a fraction of a second back... oops.. I cant remember.. !!!

Have you ever faced such things??? You go to the store and then suddenly you remember that you have to take this one thing too and you get walking to that section and poof.. u blink at the things around you trying to recollect what you wanted to take.. :D it happens to me many a times and this is what I found in the net

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Memory Disorder ....... While not a disorder, a common temporary failure of word retrieval from memory is the tip-of-the-tongue phenomenon.....

The tip of the tongue (TOT or Tot) phenomenon is an instance of knowing something that cannot immediately be recalled. TOT is an experience with memory recollection involving difficulty retrieving a well-known word or familiar name. When experiencing TOT, people feel that the blocked word is on the verge of being recovered. Despite failure in finding the word, people have the feeling that the blocked word is figuratively "on the tip of the tongue." Inaccessibility and the sense of imminence are two key features of an operational definition of TOT's

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So what about you??? Suffering from TOT's??? ;-)

Even Heavens can Smile and be Sad...

She was standing out there, looking out into the deep sea... Moon had made a sad face along with Jupiter and Venus, but still managed to shine all bright. And the moon light split up the ocean beneath, with its rather zigzag reflection. Felt as though, was looking at the dim line between sanity and insanity, which kept reducing. End of it all, the markings faded and what remained was a blissful night, the sound of waves, cool breeze and the drops of lights from far away fishing boats.

May be that's how it feels like in the END - absolutely nothing to mark any of the differences but just the Joy keeps glittering !

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Something related to the pics.

December 1st, 2008 – Venus, Jupiter and Moon formed a "smiley face". The two brightest planets, Venus and Jupiter, closed together in the evening sky, with Venus lying about 2 degrees to the South (left) of Jupiter. On the same night the Crescent Moon appeared just beneath them, forming a Smiley Face. And on the next day the Moon moved further up making a Sad Face out there. And what more? We wouldn't see such kind for another 44 years!

Worth of Rs.500/-

My friend shared this video with me and I guess its worth watching.

Its very touching when the boy tells that, with Rs.500/- he'll buy groceries for one month. I end up spending that much on one dinner and there's this boy who can buy one month's stuff for his entire family with the same amount. Isn't it worth a thought?

And as I told in the previous post, there are people who spend 3000 dhms on a dance bar also. I never knew entertainment can cost this much. No wonder that Naxalite's still exist!

Too much for a weekend fun...

Hmmm.. nothing much to write and may be another of what they all call as blogger's block. Too much of blogging's happened in the past month and may be that's another reason for the brain to pause and stop. There was this one post that caught my eye where he's mentioning about the times when there was nothing else happening other than blogging, all the time. But again, the obsession's change and then mind gets connected with something else, something new (just agreeing with his statement) :D

I think its all in the Air since most of them, around me, seem to be depressed and feeling bad and frustrated and irritated.. and what not!!

Right now, am missing my husband (Rajesh) and thinking of when I'll join him so that I can get into all the household stuff and keep myself engaged all the time. Till that happens, nothing's making me excited enough and all the more, am giving a lot of trouble to my roommate trying to plan for her wedding (actually she and her guy has not yet started with any of those and so cant blame her when she's all wild with my plans, right till the honeymoon)

Rajesh was telling me about his colleagues endeavours for weekend. This 'G' went out with his room mates to a dance bar on thursday nite (by the way its national holiday in Dubai today and so we got sometime 4 a chat) and then there's this one girl whom his friend likes a lot, so much so that with all the booze inside his stomach he paid her off 3000 dhms. Can you believe????? That's Rs.35000/- with all the inflation and Rupee down-time. And to add more, later in the night he gets up in between sleep and release himself off right on the carpeted floor, thinking its toilet... hahahaha.. pavam 'G'.. he had to take in all the stink around. Finally, he had to roll out the carpet and dispose it all off, and all this in the middle of the night when our great man is back to sleep not knowing about the mess he just made. What a terrible plight for our 'G'!!

I hope I don't ever have to face a situation like this with a completely drunken one. Sorry, but I really don't think am of any good in handling such ones. So my dear husband, you better be under control (i know .. i know... you don't get drunk... ever!! and Thank God for that!!) And as for myself, am not going to go more than 2-3. That's decided for now!!! :-)

Its Thanksgiving and am Celebrating!

A lot of events have made today another great day in my life and so I thought its worth blogging about it..

1. Though it was raining and too cold in morning, I still had to wake up early in the morning and get out to give a surprise b'day for one our friends and so we all got together at one point, went to his home and woke him up with all Happy Birthday shouts. The morning diet started with 2 huge pieces of chocolate pastry and the sandwiches, another friend had got, filled our stomach and kept us patient till noon. Surprises always brings in an adrenaline rush in me whenever am one among the parties to it - Giver or Receiver!

2. I got a comment on my blog from PS and then my day, today, was completely made. So now, I can boast among all my friends that even a famous Author is one among the readers of My Blog.. (hahaha)

3. With all the excitement, suddenly I remembered that the other part of our world is celebrating Thanksgiving and since most of us are part of the global economy today, I suddenly got this great idea of celebrating it myself and what better way to celebrate it than to show my gratitude through yet another blog.. (sorry guys :D ... dont curse me for this)

(gratitude rocks)

First of all, THANKS to Marina! (flower) who introduced me to blogging. I have had a nice time writing, reading and browsing through some beautiful things....

Secondly, THANKS to Latesha! (l'tle smaller flower since she wouldn't be able to hold a huge one) for listening to me, my logic and my thoughts all the time.. I really dont know what I would do once you leave this place.. :D

Thirdly, THANKS to Paru, Lakshmi and Nisha (flower) Without you ppl, memories about this part of my life would have been a little frustrating. But now, I have enough things in store to remember and laugh at - Paru and all her chu's, Lakshmi (just remember the name and a flood of memories would follow) and ofcourse Nisha and CD's :-)

Fourth, THANKS to Anand and Rames (flower) With all the house parties that we have had together I would no longer be an embarassement when I go Pubbing in future and more importantly, I'll be able to relate and pitch in during those talks about branded drinks/mix.

Fifth, THANKS to all of them - my close friends, parents, Mon and Rajesh (huge bouquet of flowers) for being there for me, for listening to all the stupid things I had to tell, for agreeing with me in the end, always, for loving me and for taking care of me. THANK YOU!

The list surely doesn't end here.. there are some more people for whom I am thankful at heart, in private ;-) (hehehe) THANK YOU!!!

4. Now, this part is not about about happiness or fun. The terrorist attack that happened last evening in Mumbai claimed more than 100 lives and some of them were efficient Police personnels. The news channels are flooded with remarks from the World Leaders, their views on situation, cause, impact and preventive actions. I am not quite sure how many of those would be actually implemented, on the preventive side.

Its kind of daunting to think that right now, in one part of the country there's tear filled eyes and scared faces glancing through windows and in another part am gleefully blogging. May be its just more easier this way, to face sorrow and fear when it actually comes to you. Sitting here, the only thing I can do is to pray for all the families, who have lost a part of them. That they should very soon be able to gain the momentum back in their lives.

5. Finally, THANKS to the Creator and Saviour (a garden of flowers), for am still alive and existing, to face another day in life, whether good or bad.. but atleast I can continue to Experience!

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They somehow manage it - forever!

"Flowers are love's truest language"

- the inspiration quote that appeared on my blog today!

One practice, among those very few rituals that we can associate back to the Stone Age Culture of Man – To give away Flowers for expressing deep Love, Affection, Care and Concern. Thinking about it, I don’t suppose any other gift would mount upto this one thing. Though these flowers might stay only for a day or two, it somehow manages to leave the fragrance in the hearts, forever. The memories on this last longer, holding even the most fragile relationships strongly enough, together.

The day I received a bunch of red roses from my husband is among the most beautiful memories of my life and I guess this one would last longer than all the other precious moments that we have had together. Practically there might be no way to analyse the added heart beat this one gift would cause in everyone, but may be that’s what Love is all about. Something beyond all comprehension and explanations!

Pat on the back - From Me - To ME :-)

Nothing much eventful happened, but still the last week didn't slow down even a bit. Planning for B'day celebration of a colleague took out 2 days of the week and leaving Monday (still in weekend blues) Friday (that would be weekend giggles up again) and the Weekend, there was just another single day for the work week which was obviously a busy day, for a change. :-)

The daily morning walk is keeping me in high spirits all through, though am not quite sure how long I'll stick on to the routine. :D

And another thing adding to my peace is that I am done with some of those main things in my To-Do list (this's been existing years since) Quite surprising for the people who know me as an expert in pushing it all ... But yes, this time, am done with all the major things in the list!! The coffee break sessions were great inspiration as there were these comments coming up every now and then, "shoo.. we are already approaching December ... (sigh!) what did we do in this year.. 2008 is almost over?"

As the year end is approaching, am finally spared of all the regrets of wasting another year. Thanks to the dermatologist, jewellers and the dentist, I certainly deserve a pat on the back for my achievements in year 2008!

You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To When You Have Vision, Determination And An Endless Supply of Expendable Labor

Just hoping that the motivation continues for some more time! :D

Peace within

I am wondering how to start this rather serious topic, but ofcourse my writing skills are so limited and hence may be I just have to keep it simple and go straight to what I want to put in. Actually, not quite sure how many of us sit back and think the reason for most of our actions, words and thoughts ( am putting it in the reverse order here!) And one thing that pains my heart is when I see people with insecurity. Its not that I am exempted from this feeling, but most of the times, one dip and 'll be fortunate enough to detect them deep inside the heart. But it surely pains me to see that person out there, who is so wonderful, who is gifted with all wonderful things, but still none of that is of use to them as they are filled with insecurity. To such an extent that anyone who looks up can easily describe them in 2 words - insecurity personified. It looks like the absence of content is not just enough and the worst is when they crave for attention and love outside and end up being looked at with contempt.

Seeing them sometimes I regret for the day today. Ofcourse, I cannot go back to those old days when helping these disturbed souls was a mission in life. But still want to do something to help them out there.. so that by the end of it, the path would take a turn and shows me, myself, the way! Here I have just one wish - let Love fill itself in all the wounded hearts and let Joy be the only known emotion. Let all pain and sorrow turn into learning, knowledge and finally into great Peace!

Photos = Memories = Remembering them all

Global recession is the hot topic nowadays though I cannot hold it as reason for my jobless situation. So i try to spend ample time looking at the daily news and updating myself about the inflation rates and the pink slip status.

Hmm.. thinking about it, I dont remember what prompted me to log into snapfish.. but there I was .. looking at all the old photos and reliving all the past moments. Spent some time uploading few photos (ofcourse, the ones in which I look good) in the social network site so that all my friends out there would know what is going through my mind right now. And right now.. I am missing all those days.. the days that went off ... I wish only if I could live them all once again.. but I know we cannot.. and that's how it is, may be - to long for another look on all that passed by in the journey!

"She glances at the photo, and the pilot light of memory flickers in her eyes"

Oh these visits..

Ask me about species that I just cannot stand and they are those crawling beings - slugs and snails.. But with the kind of rain that's pouring down here and with all the greenery around, its kinda normal to find all these beasts (yeah.. they are!!) around.

All tired when we reached back hostel last evening, there it was , waiting for us behind the door... eech.. !!! And what more.. when I typed out the word in google, there came a lot of sites describing the experiences of people who go on slug hunting every morning.. Sorry but I am not one of those types and no plans also.. So let me keep away from this group.

Thought of adding a picture of the our new visitor, but then remembering the agony of looking at it every time I open the site I took a step back.. so friends.. all those who are keen to see the one who trespassed our gates can take a look at it over here.

As for me, am just waiting for these rains to stop and the sun to glow all bright and gay so that these beasts would dig themselves deep, very deep down into the earth, and wouldn't pop up to disturb us.

Okie.. I did that.. so what?

From morning I have been browsing through the various sites of Preeti Shenoy and on an impulse (yes... I have to admit that) I logged into ebay and bought her book paying almost 50% shipping charges to the cost of the book. When I looked at the total cost of Rs. 145/- it was not a great deal but now that my colleague pointed out the shipping costs against the actual price of the book, yes i have to admit that it was an impulsive buying.

But coming to think of it, everything about me, all actions, had always been on an impulse thought and with no doubt I do take pride in all of them. Anyways, right now, I am just waiting to get this book in my hands, with the only hope that once read I would no further regret for the monetary loss.

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I got the book delivered and also finished reading it, in one sitting. A collection of beautiful memories, greatly written and that's the only comment I can pass for this book. Many of the incidents reminded me of my own olden days (obviously not same situations, but certain thoughts and feelings always got connected) She has certainly succeeded in conveying great things in a simple, short and sweet way through all those incidents. A great book, one which makes you feel good and relaxed after reading, one that lets you recollect all those wierd and beautiful things that's happened in your life and gets you to laugh.

Forget Me Never - A day to celebrate this!

10th November - Forget Me Not Day!

A special edition of cards are available in all the Free Greeting websites for this and there is no exaggeration in it if I also felt like sending some to my age old friends. Its been so long and if not for those "Good morning" and "Have a Nice Day" forwards, I would have thought that we all are now existing individually in the various planets, with no connection between any of them.

Its known fact that when it comes from me, things are little bit overdone and some of my friends are such that they wonder how I can be so silly to find out and celebrate all these special days. But ask me and I would tell this is the only time when you actually take a break from your boring days to look at all the interesting things that have passed by, the day to feel greatful for all those moments with the close ones, the day to ensure and reassure that the coming days are going to be all the more wonderful.... Is that a little too much of a fantasy? I wouldn't think so.... :D

After marriage the honeymoon period dies soon

Published on Wed, Oct 29, 2008 at 16:20, Updated on Wed, Oct 29, 2008 at 16:29 in Lifestyle section

Post marriage the period of honeymoon ends within a few years, and marriage turns out to be a pale and uninteresting affair.

Researchers have found that the honeymoon period is officially over two years, six months and 25 days only after a couple ties the knot -- in fact, this is the point where both partners take each other, and their relationship, for granted.

And, by the third marriage anniversary, most couples don't even bother to continue celebrating the date they tied the knot, it found.

The researchers have based their findings on a poll of 5,000 couples who had been married for over a decade. It revealed that more than half of the couples felt undervalued two years into wedlock.

Seven in 10 men admitted they're so comfortable with their spouse they often scattered socks and pants around the house and left the toilet seat up, the British media reported.

On the other hand, two thirds of the women polled said they no longer made the effort to dress up and look nice for their husbands, while 54 per cent no longer bothered wearing make-up.
During the first few months of marriage, 83 per cent of couples often held hands while out, compared with just 38 per cent after a decade.

Partners would cuddle more than eight times a day before the first wedding anniversary -- compared with five or fewer after 10 years. And 60 per cent of those surveyed said they hadn't been surprised with a romantic night out since getting hitched.

The infamous battle for control of the TV was another sticking point, with 75 per cent of men and women saying they wouldn't relinquish the remote control to their other half, even if they asked nicely.

"It would appear that many are stuck in a rut, and whilst they still love their other half they're a little too comfortable in each other's company. Couples need to find a good balance between feeling comfortable and taking each other for granted.

"The odd romantic meal would probably be all many couples need to spice things up a bit -- and small gestures such as tidying up, and helping out with the housework would go a long way," John Sewell, a spokesman for research firm 'www.onepoll.com', was quoted as saying.

I hope it remains Simple

Never knew how days passed by so quickly. Almost a month and a half over since I started travelling up and down on weekends. Now its time to fall back into the normal routine of waking up in the hostel room without having anything to look forward to do during the weekends. Just hoping full heart that the time continue to fly in the same speed, so that the day would come soon when I can also give the leave notice at the hostel reception.

If I do a recap of the whole visit inside my mind, it was a mixture of almost all known emotions - excitement, anticipation, surprise, resentment, anger, tension, fear, peace, war and love... (hehehe) Certain bonding which were expected to have been completely split off were joined back in full force. Certain surprises meant that the much awaited changes in behaviour is actually being implemented. Certain feelings opened the doors to new emotions and understanding. I just wish that life flows just as smoothly as it is now, forever. A little tide up and low, now and then, but nothing major enough to leave an impact forever

Life.. my dear "Life".. please do remain Simple... just as You are Now.. it helps me.. :-)

Grief is nature's way of keeping couples together

Published on Thu, Oct 16, 2008 at 13:23 in Wild Wacky World section

London: They say that long distances often help revive romance in a relationship, as lovers can’t stand the stress of being parted. Now, the notion has been backed by a scientific study, which suggests that grief is nature's way of keeping couples together.

While working with one of nature’s only monogamous mammals, the prairie vole, as a model for human attachment, Larry Young from the Emory University School of Medicine in Georgia and Oliver Bosch from the University of Regensburg, Germany, examined the role of stress, which is plays a significant role in the grieving process.

In the study, the researchers paired 18 male voles with females and 20 males with males for five days, enough time for male and female to mate and form an enduring attachment to each other. The researchers then separated half of each group from its partner and assessed their "mental state".

They found that males that were separated from their female partner displayed behaviour reminiscent of depression and anxiety in humans. They spent more time floating rather than swimming when dunked in water and struggled for less time when held upside down by the tail, compared with those voles that had been separated from another male. In vole terms, this means that they showed less will to fight against stressful situations. The bonded voles also had double the level of the stress hormone corticosterone in their blood, suggesting that CRF, the brain peptide that regulates the stress response, has a role to play in the grieving process.

Young said that the effects seen in the study are very different from those of isolation.

"When the animals lose their bonded partner, the CRF system becomes overactive. In nature this can be a good thing because this stress response makes them seek out their partner again, helping to maintain a stable relationship," New Scientist quoted Young, as saying. He speculates that if this over activity lasts for a long period of time then that may lead to behaviours like depression.

"What we are tapping into here is the flip side of the attachment bond. Pleasure sensors of the brain are activated when couples are together but there is another mechanism involved with the stress of being parted," Young said.

Katherine Shear, a psychiatrist from Columbia University, told New Scientist: "Currently we have no effective medication for people who are struggling with prolonged periods of debilitating grief. This work does provide early promise of developing such an approach." The study is published in the journal Neuropsychopharmacology.

Beautiful thoughts

How to move from Pain to Peace

I found this short story in my inbox today and I think its worth spending some time reading it.

**-----------------------------------***--------------------------------------**

There once was a man who was sentenced to 25years of back breaking labor. His wrists were tied to the handle of a huge wheel that was inlaid in the wall. His job was to turn the wheel 10 hours a day. For years, day in and day out, the prisoner would wonder what he was doing with this wheel. What was the meaning of his work? What was on the other side of this wall? Was he grinding grain? Pulling up water? Moving some sort of conveyer belt? For 25 years he contemplated the meaning of his work, and for 25 years he spun that wheel. It was grueling, but he survived. When his sentence was complete he was released from prison. The first thing he did was run to the other side of the wall to see what he had been doing all this time. What did he see?

Nothing!

There was nothing attached to the wheel. For 25years, 10 hours a day, he was spinning a wheel for absolutely no purpose. When the man realized his true sentence, he collapsed and died. The prisoner was able to survive 25 years of back breaking labor, but when he realized that it was all for nothing, he couldn't survive for another moment.

So what's the difference between pain and suffering?
Pain has a purpose. Suffering is true torture because it has no meaning.
Pain is bearable. Suffering for no reason is devastating.

Ask any woman about child labor. How was it? Would you do it again? Most women will answer: It was painful, but I didn't suffer. I would do it again.

This is the key to surviving problems and making it through to a new love and peace in your life. If you think there's no purpose to your emotional hurt, you'll just want out. You'll run from your kids, your responsibility, your vows...you'll run from it all just to get relief from an unbearable suffering.

But if you can come to understand why you're in this situation, then you'll succeed to make it through like a woman in child labor.

**-----------------------------------***--------------------------------------**

Since Meeting You....

Since Meeting You

I Know that Love

Is the Most Important Feeling

One Can Have

I used to think

that love was only real in the movies

and that I enjoyed being alone

I used to think

that I was too independent

that I didn't need anyone

because I was so strong

But after meeting you

I realize that my attitude

towards love

was merely a cover-up of

my disappointment with relationships

I put on a strong, noncaring front

so no one would know how I felt

But after meeting you

I could no longer pretend

My feelings became transparent

and now I want to tell the world

something I always knew but

was afraid to admit

that love is the most important

feeling one can have

and I want to thank you for

causing me to be honest

with myself and others

I Love You!!!

-Poem by Susan Polis Schutz

Diwali in Mangalore

Diwali -- the festival of lights and celebration and this Diwali, of the year 2008, has brought about lights in my life too. It did bring out a stream of glow and a burst of happiness into the dark corners of my life.

My visit to the Kudroli temple was a great experience. Lord Krishna stood out there hodling his flute and I could feel that Love all around him. Goddess Annapoorneshwari with all her jewels doned, giving away blessings for wealth and prosperity, was a great sight.

Almost Single - by Advaitha Kala

One look at the title would attract almost all women in the late 20's. From the time I saw a review on this book, in one of the newspapers, I was eagerly waiting to get the delivery and start reading. Beleive it or not it just took me 7-8 hours to reach the final page, once I got a hand on it. A real good book, jotting down some silly and also the intricate feelings of the Indian urban women nearing their 30's.

One book that all of us in today's world can relate to... If you enjoyed watching "Life in a Metro", then you would really enjoy flipping through this one too. And one more similarity to the movie is the mention of several saree draping sessions, which took my thoughts back to the gorgeous Shilpa Shetty in the movie ;-)

Assumptions...

Wondering how this word is related to each one of us? I guess, this is one word that can be easily associated with all of us as we tend to assume a pretty good amount of things in our life. If a friend misses to look at our face and give that everyday look, we tend to assume that either she is unhappy or she's angry, no matter what the reason is. In fact, she would have been busy thinking something in her head and hence that stare. But no... we have to assume.. we have to assume on almost everything..



I dont know why people have stopped asking direct questions to each other or is it that its more easier to assume on something and then keep quite. Assumptions.. the word which's an integral part of the accounting job that I do.. but I think there's exactly where this one thought should be limited to also. It need not have become so much of a past of our day to day thoughts.. and emotions. Assumptions.. I assumed that he doesnt love me... I assumed that you would come this way... I assumed that you would do this for me.. I assumed.. and I assumed... why??? why??? all these great words in this simple life..

Going the Other Way !

There were lot of clothes in my laundry bag, waiting to be washed off and ironed and since yesterday was off, I readily soaked all of them without delay. By evening they all had dried up and just one press and they can all be kept back into my suitcase. As such ironing is one thing that I hate doing, I guess there's hardly 5-8 times, in my lifetime, that I have actually endured into this process. But this time it had a different reason and hence a different feel - my stubbornness was the reason and the feel was a happy one, of having achieved completing it without depending on anyone, not even the ironing wala.

One look back and I can always say that most of the beautiful things I am proud of having done is always or mostly backed up by my stubbornness of not being ready to let go. Its the urge to prove that I can still go ahead, that makes me achieve new horizons (though its a big word, am using it here) in life. Its this urge that helps me to endure in those basic things that I have always hated doing Myself, but then once done, it becomes another habit and hence forth a part of the routine. It helps me to be independent, I can say only for myself though...

I am not trying to deny the evr knwn fact that no man can ever be independent, they are all inter dependent in one or the other way. But my independence would mean being able to do things on my own in the worst situations; its not the being which is independent, but the mindset that is getting altered here; altered enough to include changes in the routine, which is one hell of a difficult thing.

I guess I would vote for a little bit of stubbornness and ego as always required for every human, but yes of course, just a little bit :-) Even if we look at the various books preaching on individual improvement, I guess, all of those practices and thinking pattern does require stubbornness and ego as the bare minimum qualities. Thinking a little loud have we thought - If not for the stubbornness how can any person stick on to positive thinking when he is at the worst of the situations? If not for the ego and the desire to be the best among a group, how can any organisation manage a strengthy competition among the colleagues?

May be a little negativity is always required in everything. If not for that little black dot how will we ever know about the white that is spread all around? If not for that one moment of hatred that we have felt, how will we ever recognise the flowing love? I think that's all it is.. there is no bad qualities in a person... it is all good and more important - a requirement to have all those feelings.. all those feelings that can ever emerge in a man's mind, if and if at all they are all within the limits and it helps the man to move forward.. to clear off the path and move forward through the wilderness. The Hard Self is as important as the Soft one.. no one can ever be all good and nothing bad, i guess.. though I would say that there are many a individuals trying for this feeling of being the all good self...

I was just browsing in google on the topic "Depression" and one thing that caught my eye is that most of these sites are all filled in with the pics of women. Pausing here, what exactly does this mean?? Is it that its the women gender who mostly fall in for this disorder and not only that, are we all prone to a more frequent call from this one eyed monster. :-) wondering why I gave this description for this feeling wherein we feel pity on our own selves... If you ask me that exactly is the feeling of a depressed human being - just like a one eyed monster who is incapable of seeing the other side.. the other side of life.

Depression - I dont remember listening to any of my guy friends mentioning this as the reason for any of their action. Contradicting to this, all my female friends and for that matter myself, can always link this word to all the extra shopping, a palatte of pizza and ice cream or chocolate. I am just trying to wonder the reason for this. Why???

Okie lets look at this from a different angle. What happens to a male when he is upset? He might go take a smoke, a drink in the late hours of the day or may be a chat session with his pals over a coffee cup. What happens when a female is upset about something? A long time mourning is for sure along with shopping or extra calories :-) I am more concerned on the reason for this difference here rather than looking at the reactions itself. Women who are considered to have a better mental and spiritual strength than Men are more prone to these psychological disorders. And one question that needs attention here is "Is it because they are more aware of their feelings than the Men?"

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
by Stieg Larsson




Swedish author and journalist Stieg Larsson uses the tropes of both Scandinavian and British crime fiction but he is a one-off or, rather, was a one-off - tragically, he died of a heart attack, aged 50, in 2004.


The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo is the first of his Millennium Trilogy to be published in the UK. It is a violent thriller that focuses on a complex financial fraud and a powerful family's sinister secret. It starts slowly, with details of how a Swedish company is ripping off government funding to set up a fake business in Russia. The novel picks up speed when it gets into the complexities of the wealthy Vanger family's past.


Forty years earlier, Harriet Vanger disappeared off the family's private island. Nobody saw her leave, there was no sign of her disappearance and no corpse. Her uncle, however, is convinced that a family member murdered her.

A journalist, Blomqvist, in disgrace after losing a libel case arising from his reporting of the financial scandal, takes on the investigation of the woman's disappearance. Almost immediately, he sees a link with a number of other murders taking place around the same time. The family only pretends to help and Blomqvist doesn't know where to go next.

Then he hooks up with the titular tattooed girl - a very angry punk hacker. The journalist and the hacker are ingenious, believable creations, in conflict with themselves and each other. They form an incongruous but credible bond as everyone they meet is against them. In the end, the novel becomes, among many other things, something of a tender love story.

Larsson's trilogy was published in Scandinavia and continental Europe to great acclaim between 2005 and 2007, after his death. Tattoo (Original title: Men Who Hate Women) won the prestigious Glass Key for the best Nordic crime novel of 2005. The Girl Who Played With Fire (2006) won a Swedish Academy for Detective Novels award. The third, Castles in the Sky, came out early last year.

Larsson, a leading expert on right-wing extremists and neo-Nazi organisations, was editor of Expo, the magazine for a project he had set up to combat racism. He began writing the trilogy after work each evening in 2001. He claimed he enjoyed it so much that he was partway through the third before he even considered sending anything to a publisher.

This is a striking novel, full of passion, an evocative sense of place and subtle insights into venal, corrupt minds. It's sad that a potentially great crime-writing career was ended almost before it began, but at least UK readers can enjoy this and look forward to the succeeding two novels in the trilogy.

Can we rest for a while...?

"Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret"

Anger -- one of those emotions on which action comes first and realisation the next. And I guess that's the reason why many a people find it difficult to manage or put a period on the conversation when it is pumped out at this state. This is one emotion which we can trace back to all our issues - international or mere domestic. I was just wondering why not put a little thought into this complex emotion.

Why do we get angry? This is the first question that comes to my mind.. The reasons could be many, an incident that dint hold up to your expectation, or a continuously lingering thought that managed to get its way thorough the mind and create the impact.. the reason for this emotiona l outburst could be any number crossing a thousand. But all these reasons, I guess, can be summarised and brought into one single point of thought and that according to me would be "Expectation".

Expectations... every thought in a relationship revolves around this concept. We just have to probe a person to list out his/her expectations and am sure the list would run down to pages. Mother, father, husband, wife, children, siblings, friends, manager, colleague, subordinates.. ... this is one emotion that is common in all the relationships. And forget about relationship, we should be using the word every human, known or unknown. For instance even a passerby whom you don't notice is also not exempted out of this emotion. Even he'll have the basic expectation that you'll give space for him to move through the path way. A person who is unknown to you, but then if you don't stand up to that one thought of his, the result might be an embarrassing scowl or a stare. We are so accustomed to this emotion that we don't even spare the people whom we are unaware of and it would be more than easy to imagine what would be the impact when it comes to those close relationships.

An unmet expectation lead to anger, hatred and all those emotions that is considered as toxic for our mind, body and soul. Still we humans, the most evolved of the beings go on in our way, unaware of the impacts. Is it because we are not yet ready to meet the expectation of the One above all of us, who is the creator and mentor? Talking about that I wonder, if HE also is strangled in the webs of these unnerving emotions like anger and expectations from one of His most beautiful creations - the creation with a fully evolved brain and free will!

There are few more emotions that can be talked together with, here - Ego and Fear. I guess these 2 emotions are also closely associated with Anger. Any comment or action that pricks out on a person's ego would bring out a response crammed with anger and similar is the case, i guess, with Fear too. The fear as it is can exist at different levels and it is mostly the fear of losing that pumps out anger filled statements.

Will there ever be a day when man is free of all these emotions that displays the insecurity in him? Man one of the most powerful creation -- will the creator ever would have thought that he'll be the most insecure one in the whole creation? Even with all the thinking abilities, we are unsure of the results of our own actions and there's this accompanied fear of losing the identity. Why....??? Why are we so insecure in life...?? For that matter Who are we afraid of..? The fellow beings who are struggling just as we are...?? Since the only one above us is the Creator himself, who is not ready for any kind of a competition with us, i guess its our own friends and relations that we are competing with -- the fellow beings!!!!

If you ask me, I am tired.. tired of this unending struggle to keep up the pace with others in the race. I want to sit back and relax... is it possible? I am not very sure if I can make it up to the statement I just made. May be I am looking for company, another set of people who will join me to stay back, so that I am not alone -- I guess the fear of being alone might push me to join the race and move forward along with the racing group. The typical thought of the human... even the worst wrong becomes the most right if it is backed up by more than one single hand. Isnt it?

The happiness thermostat

The happiness thermostat

Dr P V Vaidyanathan Aug 25, 2008

WE all constantly seek happiness, which means different things for different people.
Many of us look forward to positive events, like a marriage, the birth of a child, passing an examination, winning a contest, achieving a landmark of goal that we have set for ourselves, which make us feel happy.

But recent research indicates that all of us are born with a happiness ‘thermostat’ which is responsible for keeping our levels of happiness at a particular level, in spite of ups and downs in life.

This study, based in Germany, and appeared in the Economic Journal, studied the life patterns of hundreds of people, over a 20 year period.If was discovered that positive events like a marriage or birth of a child did make people happy, but this happiness slowly started to go down, and by the end of a two year period, most people had come back to their previous happiness level, the level at which they were, before the event (marriage/ child birth) had occurred.

Likewise, the researchers discovered that traumatic events, like a divorce or a death in the family, caused one to become sad and depressed, but eventually with time, the person regained his or her previous levels of happiness.

This has given rise to the concept of all of us being born with a happiness ‘thermostat’, something that always pulls our emotions of well being back to a set point.

What this means is that we normally cannot remain eternally happy or sad, following positive or negative events.

This thermostat perhaps functions differently and is set at different points for different people, and hence we see people who are happier or sadder than others. This gives credibility to the old saying ‘Time heals all wounds’, and is what we commonly know as adaptation.

Another study, conducted by the Edinburgh University involving 900 twins discovered that at least 50 per cent of our happiness levels are genetically determined.
The remaining 50 per cent of happiness comes from factors like career, lifestyle and relationships. Though the research indicated that much of our being happy depends on our genes, it also goes on to say that this is not something permanent.

Many of our day to day activities influence this level. Also, writing a dairy, being grateful, willfully becoming positive in one’s outlook---many such characters can help us to override this genetically determined levels of happiness and can make us happier that what nature has programmed us to be.

Happiness and sorrow—both come with an expiry date, as the human mind is equipped with a thermostat like quality, which helps it to bring back our emotional state to a pre-fixed or pre-determined level.

Also much of how happy a person is, is determined by genes, although working hard to raise one’s positivity can help to change this level.

All this research also makes us think about things we have learned in the past, like Newton’s law, which says that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and the various philosophies like Vedanta and Advaita, which stress on the duality of life, and have always been saying the everything in life comes together are two sides of a coin - night and day, good and bad, happiness and sorrow, light and dark, pain and pleasure.

This current research does bring about a meeting of science and religion, so to speak.

Decisions.....

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can change your life forever" was the quote that showed up in my blogspot today. Decisions.. one of the most important terms in a person's life book. It seems as if there is always an analysis done at the end of every funeral sorting out the Right and the Wrong Decisions taken by the one who is now lying 6ft deep down in the earth. And may be at the end of every lifetime the soul itself might have to stand up out there in the God's court to account for all those decisions taken during every point of that specific lifetime. Its this fear that forces every human to practice a little diplomacy in his/her Decisions in life.. the fear that at one point of this lifetime they are answerable for it all; if not then at least at the beginning of this Life after death where a per the mythology all the records are maintained by the great Chithragupta and the punishment/reward accordingly given by Yama - the embodiment of darkness.

I don't think we can ever take this subject to an analysis of right and wrong as that question depends on individual perception. We can only talk about the various decisions that's taken just like how a review is done on books or movies, jotting down the contents and leaving the analysis for the public out there. Coming back to the initial quote on which I started this whole concept on, personally I have always had this feeling that every decision we take in life is all a pre-decided one and obviously the most perfect. May be because of the various teachings that I have received from my spiritual teacher, I believe in this fact that life as it is, is just like another story book. The book is already written and that too for someone else to read and enjoy but the characters are not aware of the fact that their individual fate has already been decided by the author. Instead they struggle and thrive at various phases of their life to make it better, not knowing the fact that they can never bring in a different outcome of the situations and all the more that it is all for the best and the better. It might really be a very interesting work for the One above all of us, just like the way all the authors are proud of their efforts on a book. May be this is one reason why I want to write a book for once in this lifetime.. to take charge of another person's life and design it the way I want to.

I am not sure how many of us believe the fact that we are living a life which is already been designed by the expert hands. Nothing can wrong here and especially with the ending. It has to be the most perfect ending.. the end of all life and the end of all thoughts and most of all end of all decisions in life.. Decisions. .. the only thing that the child in a man gets to play with; the one thing that sow the initial drops of Pride in every man.